Mental health

My 11th fastiversary - and how I got my confidence back!

Today is my official 5:2 Fastiversary – eleven years to the day since I first tried intermittent fasting. And I wanted to share some really raw, personal stuff about my last 12 months - and some hard-won lessons that I hope might help you too!

I went to the Royal Pavilion in my home city of Brighton this morning as the weather was sunny for the first time in ages! But only a few months ago, I wouldn’t have posed like this or worn this dress as it was too tight and made me feel so self-conscious… read on to hear why!

My rubbish 2 years - and how I got back on track!

Right now, I’m feeling good. But this time last year, I wasn’t exactly a beacon of body positivity. OK, I was still well within the ‘healthy BMI’ range. I was fitting in my 5k runs, and squeezing into my jeans (just about). But the inner confidence fasting had given me for so long was AWOL.

Where had my confidence gone?

If you are a regular newsletter reader, you’ll know I was grieving my parents and other losses. Plus dealing with ill health issues close to home, not to mention massive work disappointments. Fasting was still part of my routine, once a week, and it saved my vegetarian bacon by helping me stay in reasonable shape.

The fast days were fine but the other days – not so much. Back in 2012, when I’d been at my heaviest (11 stone 7 or 161lbs or 73kg) and least healthy, fasting had been revolutionary. I quickly achieved my goal of breaking through the 10-stone barrier – and I found it easy to eat well and in moderation on non-fasting days. Soon I was down to 9 stone 7 (that’s 60kg or 133 lbs), even less in the summer months. I wrote the book about it - well, six in total. It was my new normal, the best thing I’d ever tried.

And I stayed that way for nearly a decade…

Moderation? What’s that again?

But in the last two years, the stress of caring and grieving made me crave sweet things again. Plus, I think I was so overwhelmed by upset that my ‘off switch’ stopped working on non-fasting days.

My weight crept up. Friends insisted it was barely noticeable, but the lovely clothes I’d made for myself were tight and I felt ashamed.

Then, in January 2023, I was ill for over a month – an ‘old school’ virus that made me eat for comfort. When I recovered, I was approaching 10 stone/63.5kg and that didn’t feel good to me. So I decided to keep fasting but add in a lower-carb veggie approach – something that had worked well for me years ago when I was in my 30s.

When you have to recalibrate…

Nothing happened. Didn’t lose a single pound. Maybe it’s being past the menopause, or due to my stress levels but low-carbing no longer works for me. I lost no weight and felt very light-headed when I tried to run.

Next, I wondered if I could reduce the emotional pressure on myself by accepting that around 10 stone (140lbs or 63.5kg) should be my new ‘comfortable’ weight. It’s in the healthy BMI zone.

But that really didn’t help either. While for many people, it’d be fine, I know what I’m comfortable with. I am pretty short and I don’t carry extra pounds very well.

I also tried the Zoe plan – I loved the science part. But though I’d always guessed that my blood sugar control was RUBBISH, having it confirmed was disheartening. My parents suffered so much with type 2 diabetes, and I feared I was destined to be the same way, despite my decade of careful fasting. The food choices the plan recommended weren’t that tempting (I will share my full review one day soon) though it reinforced what I already knew about increasing diversity in my diet.

The Embarrassment Factor

Some days I felt I’d gone back in time to my days BF: Before Fasting. Out of control, embarrassed by my rounded tummy. Even worse, I was an accidental ‘diet guru’ now, yet I wasn’t where I wanted to be. From the outside, I still looked OK, yet inside I was low.

But the darkest hour comes before dawn. Spring sprung. My grief became less acute and some of my other worries faded a little. I cut down from having a glass of wine four nights a week to two. I started to feel I was taking better care of myself. And I didn’t weigh myself for ages.

June was a month of travel – and temptations. France first, then Greece. All the delicious cheese, patisserie, baklava, and yes, I was also drinking wine most evenings at sunset. I did eat loads of salads and the food was most unprocessed and very fresh. I also walked and swam a lot every day. But even so, I dreaded getting on the scales again when we got home.

Scale Victory…

But to my surprise – I’d actually lost weight. Encouraged by that, for the last 6 weeks I’ve been experimenting with longer fasts, to boost my immunity as well as fat loss: the scientific research on fasting safely has come on so much. On fasting days I’ve extended the time without eating up to 24 hours, and it’s really added to that reset effect (it’s REALLY important to check with a doctor if it’s suitable for you before doing the same, especially if you have acute or chronic health issues).

Within 3 weeks I was back at 9 stone 7 pounds (that’s 60kg or 133 lbs) and I’ve stayed there. But it’s not the numbers on the scale I’m celebrating as much as the way I feel in my favourite clothes, the energy I have, and the confidence it gives me to be the healthiest version of myself again.

I’ve turned a corner, just as I did 11 years ago this month. Sure, 7lbs doesn’t make a huge difference to my health – even before this, I’d maintained 75% of the weight I lost 11 years ago. But I am back to feeling great - happy to have my photo taken by another person again (as opposed to doing a very carefully controlled selfie). Plus the ability to eat well without cravings is wonderful.

So are my lessons from the last year?

Lesson one: Keep flexing your fasting muscles

Make changes and recalibrate if your old plan isn’t working as well. Your body changes over time, and so does the science. Challenge yourself but don’t throw out an approach, like fasting, if it’s worked for you before.

Lesson two: life happens, be kind to yourself…

I’m always honest in my emails and so you may have guessed that I’m not great at cutting myself some slack, even now. But telling yourself you’re rubbish or a failure never helps… try to turn your inner voice into a supportive best mate, rather than a harsh head teacher. It’s no coincidence that I started losing the weight when I went on holiday and relaxed…

Lesson three: allow yourself the pleasure of good food

Diets are a balance – yes, my blood sugar control might predispose me to diabetes. No, it doesn’t mean the odd cake will kill me. Sometimes cake is exactly what I feel like – but the nicer I am to myself, the more I feel like eating the tasty and healthy stuff! When I was in Greece and France, I probably ate more but avoiding processed and focusing on fresh made a big difference.

So, that’s my end of year report. After 11 years, my fasting regime is off to big school – and I reckon I’m back in the top stream… If you’ve found this useful, remember you can always get inspiration from my books and podcasts!

Worry Time - and our updated book about beating the blues

A few years ago, I got together with Brighton friend and fellow author Sarah Rayner to work on Making Peace with Depression – a short, comforting book full of tips and ideas for dealing with the blues. It had a great reception from readers – and now we’ve updated it, and it’s just been published with a lovely new cover (featuring the cutest ‘black dog’ ever) by Thread. It includes tips on crafty stuff and kitchen self-care.

A super-quick strategy for scary times

Right now, many of us are struggling with worries about the future, and I wanted to share one of the most useful strategies I’ve found, which I write about in the book.

 I am a champion worrier, and I can even multiworry, letting them build and build! But one very useful technique I use if I find I’m going through a period of ruminating too much is to set aside Worry Time.

Worry time… the simple strategy I use all the time

  • I pick a time of day when I can devote myself to worrying, and if something niggles or stresses me out, I add it to my Worry List.

  • Then at the designated time – say 8pm – I let myself worry in a concentrated way for 20 minutes. That might be constructive – trying to think of ways to tackle the worry or reduce the probability of something going wrong. Often it becomes so tedious that I go off and do something better – or the postponement means when I go through the list, I realise how trivial most of it was!

 This can be a good way to reduce the time spent ruminating, to try out gaining control over your own thoughts and, of course, to find solutions to the things that genuinely merit concern. It also helps you identify the worries that are entirely proportionate but out of your control. In many ways, those are the hardest ones to deal with.

When the first cases of Covid-19 were being reported, I was hugely anxious because I felt no one else was seeing the signs. It meant that once the world did begin to take action, even as other people become more worried, I felt better, because at least I no longer felt ‘responsible’ for warning everyone.

And now that we’re concerned about the conflict in Ukraine and energy supply and the climate, I’m trying Worry Time all over again…

 

My book just 99p - & my dog on the radio!

Owner of a Lonely Heart, my book about leaving loneliness behind and taking a risk – with the help of a therapy dog – is on special offer at just 99p in the UK till Thursday 14 September.

And if you want to hear all about how our dog inspired the book I took her into our local radio station. You can listen here: and also see the little video I made here.

The JOY of volunteering in a vaccine centre

Volunteering sent my spirits soaring…

February 2021 felt pretty miserable for many in the UK as the lockdown and cold weather made the days and nights seem long and gloomy.

BUT what sent my spirits soaring was having the chance to work as a volunteer marshal at our local vaccination centre, up at Brighton Racecourse.

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During the month I did five shifts and each time was incredible - meeting hundreds of patients every day, directing traffic (a brand new skill that makes me feel quite #Jackieweaver), doing temperature checks and asking the question that gets everyone smiling (‘have you been abroad recently?!), managing the fast-moving queues or chatting while people rest for 15 minutes after their vaccination.

After spending so long at home, seeing hardly anyone, it was overwhelming at first, but soon I adored feeling part of the incredible team, and chatting to hundreds of people every day - not only the patients, but also the other volunteers and medics.

Many patients turn up in their Sunday best, because it’s a very significant outing and for some, the first time they’ve been among others since last March. Couples and families - perhaps a son or daughter escorting a parent - can go in together, though of course only those eligible receive the precious Pfizer or Astra Zeneca vaccine.

It’s such a joyful atmosphere - no wonder landing a volunteer slot has been like winning the lottery.

I’ve been in awe of the organisation and dedication of everyone I’ve encountered: the team turned a space aimed at racegoers (there are lots of ads for betting and a - sadly out of service - bar) into a space with waiting area, vaccination pods, drawing up zone and seating for waiting the 15-minutes post injection. I was at the centre when they completed their 20,000th vaccination - everyone applauded and it was wonderful to know I played a tiny part.

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It’s such a joyful atmosphere - no wonder landing a volunteer slot has been like winning the lottery. I did need to invest in some new gloves though because for a couple of weeks, temperatures fell well below zero and felt far colder.

As a writer, I am usually pretty happy in my own company but this satisfies the craving I’ve had to be back with other humans. I’m signed up for more this month - each jab feels like a step closer to spending time with those we love and miss.

Rock Your Year: make 2021 the best it can be

Let’s face it, 2020 won’t go down in the history books as the best year ever… but as I write this, on New Year’s Eve, I am focusing on the things I can change - and that includes a complete update of my free download about making changes in your life. It’s available to members of my Book Club the instant you sign up right here…

The booklet is 20 pages long, plus free worksheets you can print off . I’ve given it a new title, too:

Rock Your Year

We can’t always be sure a year will go as planned - but we can take steps that’ll help us make the best of what life throws at us… and that’s the focus of the new book.

Do you want to be happier, healthier & more productive?

Are you overwhelmed by all the changes you’d like to make to your life?

Or maybe the pandemic has made you feel everything is out of control?

2021 and beyond…

2020 has left no one untouched by worry, frustration and loss. In the face of the uncertainties and awful headlines, we can feel powerless and trapped.

You might think that planning in these times is a mistake, or a waste of time. After all, so many things are beyond our control, right?

For me, planning is a source of fresh hope and new starts. And it doesn’t have to be done in December, or in the last few minutes before a new year. You can do this at any time of year.

You also don’t have to make goals for a whole year – this same process can help you plan for the next 3 months, six months or any period that works for you.

3 Steps to making the most of 2021

The 3-step process is simple and energising and it’ll help you:

  1.  Review: what makes you happy and fulfilled

  2. Refocus: identify what will make the biggest difference to you and those around you:

  3. Resolve: to improve your life, whatever the challenges you face.

Why listen to me?

As someone who has struggled with depression, I can be a ‘glass half-empty’ person. But this annual process of looking at what matters most, and how I can put that first, makes a difference to my quality of life on a daily basis.

This approach has helped me:

  • Lose weight and keep it off (even during pandemic lockdowns)

  • Pivot my freelance work several times to focus on what gives me most creative satisfaction;

  • Use grief to motivate me to become a keen runner;

  • Move to a city I love.

These are all big changes that didn’t happen overnight. But what my process does is identify my dreams and see the smaller steps I need to take to make them real.

Imagine what this could it do for you…

Your dreams and ambitions will be different to mine. But the sooner you clarify those and start taking actions to get you where you want to be, the sooner things will change for the better.

Short of time? Feel like focusing on yourself is selfish?

Maybe you feel spending time reviewing your dreams is selfish when others are in need. But the happier you are, the more energy you have to support the people you care about.

It doesn’t take long to do the three-steps – and it’ll help you save time by ditching stuff that no longer matters to you.

To download the free e-book, or have it sent to you e-reader, just sign up for my free book club.